Some people have asked me this question. I’m sure it’s a question that will be asked at the audition, and it’s a question that I really needed to think about and be sure I had a honest and honorable answer for.
I asked myself if it was to live out some childhood fantasy of trying to be cool, or popular, or noticed. Nope!
I ased myself if it was for the possibility of fame and $$$. Nuh-uh.
I really thought hard about this…
It came down to a couple of things. It all started back about a year ago.
I had been thinking about going out for America Idol for a couple of years at that point, but always had some reason or other that I couldn’t make it out to an audition. Not enough money, not enough vacation time at work. How could i leave my wife and 1 child at that time, they needed me.
God had reall been working on me in some areas of my life. Particularly in the area of trusting Him. being willing to step out on a limb, so to speak, and let Him cut it off. He was asking me who I trusted more. Me or Him?
That was a tough question to answer, because the truth was I trusted myself. I knew my abilities, my limits, my short comings and strengths. I knew about God’s, but I never really experenced them in my own life, because I was afreaid to trust Him.
Most of my life, even before I became a Christian, I was afraid to try new things. I was afraid that I would look foolish if people knew that I didn’t know how to do something. I thought would be ridiculed if I tried something new and failed at it. I equated trying and not succeeding at someting right away with failure. And I equated not succeeding the first time with not being good enough.
God reminded me that He “don’t make no junk!” Through some very key people in my life at that time, God showed me the freedom in trying new things. The thrill, the exciting, the anticipation that cam along with it was great. He helped me realize that life was a series of trys, failures, successes, and trying again all rolled up into one. It was not a neat package, but it was life.
Life could never be full without trying. And trying wasn’t trying without trusting. I was going to have to trust Him, if I was ever going to really be trying anything worth while.
I decided during that time that I was no longer going to let the fear of failure or the fear of unknown keep me from venturing out into life and try things. I didn’t want to live my life, and come to the end of it with tons of regrets stemming from n ot trying things. I wanted to be an example to my children of faith that would step up and step out for anything God was calling me to do.
I wanted to live a life that was full. Not because I succeeded at everthing I tried, but because I tried to succeed. I tried to live life to the fullest. I took the chances, the abilities, the love and passion I was given and ran with it.
So, we come back to the question, “Why audition?”
I was made to be involved in music. I was give talents that I cannot hide or be ashamed of. I want to use them to honor God and bless people that hear/see it.
I want my children to see me and remember that dad was never afraid to try something, even if it meant he might fail. Dad was the kind of man that would not just sit back and let life pass him by. he got in the game and played!
Livin’ Out Loud,